Pic taken 2/25/2015.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Sweat, pain, and temptation...
Today I did something I don't think I've ever done. I spent 2 hours at the gym. Yes, let that sink in. 2.hours.at.the.gym. I did an hour on the treadmill, though I was only asked to do 40 minutes of cardio, I did a full hour because I took yesterday off instead of today, as my trainer had originally planned it. Then I did a circuit of resistance exercises that my trainer assigned me. This circuit consisted of small crunches, (3 sets of 15 reps), leg lifts with a stability ball (3 sets of 6 reps), plank position (modified with me on my elbows) 4 times for 5-6 seconds each time, ball slams with a 12 pound medicine ball (3 sets of 10 reps), and finishing up with box squats (3 sets of 12 reps).
The cardio was mostly walking, varying speeds and inclines. I wanted to test my endurance and jogging/running ability, so towards the end, I jogged at a 4.5 mph pace and was able to maintain it for 2 minutes straight the first time. I adjusted the speed back down to a fast walk to keep my heart rate in target range and to catch my breath, then tried it again and was able to stretch it for 3 minutes at that speed (flat incline for the jogs both times). So I ran for a total of 5 minutes. Not great shakes, but for me to be able to run for 3 minutes continuously, that is an achievement for me. It's kind of a big deal. I think I will do C25K as my cardio training and do the exercises the trainer gave me for resistance/strenght trining. This way I can kill 2 birds with one stone. My trainer was there working, and she popped over to see how I was doing. She seemed pleased with my workout. I left there a red faced, sweaty mess.
Having finished the workout, I'm feeling pretty good. It kicked my butt, and I feel like I really did something. The challenge is still to come though. I've lucked into a long weekend. I was put on standby yesterday, and was on call today but not needed, so I've been off for 4 days. It's back to work tomorrow. Will I have the energy to go to the gym after work? That is the question. I guess I will find out tomorrow. I will direct all of my positive energy and drive towards going and getting it done. It has to happen. Change has to start with me, and it has to be now.
Eating and being vegan is going ok too. I have been able to stick to a mostly vegan diet (as I said in the previous entry some animal products have shown up a few times in pre-prepared foods, but for the most part, I've been able to stay true to a vegan diet. I finally made some juices. I made a bit of carrot juice, and a green juice of kale/spinach/cucumber/green apple. They were tasty and they were nutritious. Today I got a Jamba Juice Amazing greens smoothie. I need to make up a shopping list to get me through the week, as I am starting to run through my current stock. I have no salads left, My fruits are dwindling. I need to start looking at making some foods and storing them to heat and eat. I want to keep up with the good eating I've been doing. I want to follow a proper vegan diet, balanced and all. Eating is a fine balance though. I want to keep eating enough to lose weight... I don't want to eat too much and cancel out the calories I've burned, and right now I am craving a savory filling meal. I will try some peanut butter on toast and an apple and see if that fills me up. The eating is going to be the tricky part. I know that the more active I become, the more calories I will need, but figuring out how much to eat, when to eat, and when it's appropriate, that will be my struggle, along with the usual struggles of motivation and energy. I would love a big ol' plate of mashed potatoes right about now. :p
Ok, now to munch of some peanut butter toast and watch The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, and relax.
The cardio was mostly walking, varying speeds and inclines. I wanted to test my endurance and jogging/running ability, so towards the end, I jogged at a 4.5 mph pace and was able to maintain it for 2 minutes straight the first time. I adjusted the speed back down to a fast walk to keep my heart rate in target range and to catch my breath, then tried it again and was able to stretch it for 3 minutes at that speed (flat incline for the jogs both times). So I ran for a total of 5 minutes. Not great shakes, but for me to be able to run for 3 minutes continuously, that is an achievement for me. It's kind of a big deal. I think I will do C25K as my cardio training and do the exercises the trainer gave me for resistance/strenght trining. This way I can kill 2 birds with one stone. My trainer was there working, and she popped over to see how I was doing. She seemed pleased with my workout. I left there a red faced, sweaty mess.
Having finished the workout, I'm feeling pretty good. It kicked my butt, and I feel like I really did something. The challenge is still to come though. I've lucked into a long weekend. I was put on standby yesterday, and was on call today but not needed, so I've been off for 4 days. It's back to work tomorrow. Will I have the energy to go to the gym after work? That is the question. I guess I will find out tomorrow. I will direct all of my positive energy and drive towards going and getting it done. It has to happen. Change has to start with me, and it has to be now.
Eating and being vegan is going ok too. I have been able to stick to a mostly vegan diet (as I said in the previous entry some animal products have shown up a few times in pre-prepared foods, but for the most part, I've been able to stay true to a vegan diet. I finally made some juices. I made a bit of carrot juice, and a green juice of kale/spinach/cucumber/green apple. They were tasty and they were nutritious. Today I got a Jamba Juice Amazing greens smoothie. I need to make up a shopping list to get me through the week, as I am starting to run through my current stock. I have no salads left, My fruits are dwindling. I need to start looking at making some foods and storing them to heat and eat. I want to keep up with the good eating I've been doing. I want to follow a proper vegan diet, balanced and all. Eating is a fine balance though. I want to keep eating enough to lose weight... I don't want to eat too much and cancel out the calories I've burned, and right now I am craving a savory filling meal. I will try some peanut butter on toast and an apple and see if that fills me up. The eating is going to be the tricky part. I know that the more active I become, the more calories I will need, but figuring out how much to eat, when to eat, and when it's appropriate, that will be my struggle, along with the usual struggles of motivation and energy. I would love a big ol' plate of mashed potatoes right about now. :p
Ok, now to munch of some peanut butter toast and watch The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, and relax.
Post Workout Selfie
This is what an hour of cardio and about 45 mins of resistance training looks like, minus the dripping sweat.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Another New Beginning
I am retiring my old blog and starting fresh. I have been struggling with my weight for my entire life, in one form or another. Growing up I was super skinny. I hit my full adult height at the age of 13 (that height is 5'11, by the way) and it took the rest of my body a LOOOOONG time to catch up. I was so thin that I looked sick. I was teased mercilessly and grilled about my eating habits. "Do you eat?" is one of my personal favorites. Obviously I do eat, since I am standing here, breathing and functioning and being annoyed and shamed by your questions and comments :p I did (and still do) eat... in fact I had a very healthy appetite. But no matter what, or how much, I ate.... I couldn't gain an ounce.
In my mid 20's, I started to fill out, finally. After I had my daughter, I was probably at my best and "ideal" weight.... for about 5 minutes! At least, that's how it felt. Because once the weight started sticking.... it never stopped. Combining that with the fact that we had moved cross country and my lifestyle wasn't nearly as active as it had been, I went from skinny to "fat" in no time. I led a very sedentary life. I was prone to depression, I was in a new place, where the culture was very different. People are much more reserved in Seattle than they are back home, so I didn't really have any friends, just my partner. Even now, nearly 20 years on, I still only have a couple of people who I would call friends... lots of acquaintances, but no real friends to speak of. The weather is different here, too, so you have the perfect recipe for depression.
Regardless of the reasons, and I don't want to delve too deeply into that right now because it sounds like I'm having a massive pity party for one, I ended up in my current state of being. Overweight, hell who am I kidding, OBESE, diabetic, and very out of shape. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in September of 2013. I started having noticeable symptoms of the disease. I was tired all the time, had to pee a LOT! And was thirsty all the time. That last symptom was a tricky one for me to pin down, because I didn't FEEL thirsty, I just noticed I was drinking more fluids than I usually do. (I have traditionally been pretty bad about fluid intake, sadly).
I am only on oral antidiabetics at this point, and at first they really seemed to be helping. My sugar went down, and by down I mean by over 100 units.I felt better, more energetic, and definitely noticed an improvement. Then I guess I got cocky and careless. Either that, or the increase in my meds caused my appetite to increase. The intention of the doctor was for my sugar to go down to "normal' levels, when he increased my meds. That didn't happen. In fact, the levels started going up again, and all the weight I had lost (about 30 lbs) came back. I did start doing some things I probably shouldn't have, like drinking alcohol more often than I ever used to. I used to not drink at all, or very rarely, for a while, I was drinking a drink a day 3-4 times a week. I was eating dessert all the time, and just kind of stopped paying attention to what I was doing.
With my sugars creeping back towards the 200's and all of the weight back on my body, I decided to revisit a well traveled road...a vegan diet. I have taken this path a couple of times. I haven't gotten very far down this path in the past, I have lacked the skill, patience, energy, drive, committment, etc. to do it for very long. The longest I lasted was 3 months. And even in that attempt, I was not doing it right. I ate a lot of pb&j sandwiches and junk/processed foods. I started noticing signs of malnutrition, so I brought eggs and dairy back into the picture.
Since my diagnosis, I have been reading a lot of studies/articles/books that tout a vegan diet as a way to reverse diabetes, even my PMD was behind the idea when I mentioned it to him at my last checkup. I also have been watching lots of documentaries. "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead was one that stuck with me and introduced me to the idea of juicing. That, along with some of my co-workers and friends who had started juicing. After watching the movie the first time, I found a deal on a juicer on Groupon and ordered it, totally excited to start juicing. It arrived, Nick put it together, and...... it sat there, unused. I was intimidated by it, and not motivated to use it... and so it's been sitting there waiting for me to get off my ass and give it a go. While reading all of this info, collecting juice recipe's and buying books, I continued to do the wrong things, and let stress and fatigue rule the day.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw that "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead 2" was on Netflix, so I watched it. I was reminded of juicing, and had stirrings of wanting to do it again. I ordered "Reboot With Joe", Joe Cross's book about his journey. I also dug up a book that had been sitting unread on my Nook for many months, "Veganist, Eat Healthy, Lose Weight" by Kathy Freston. A book I was introduced to in nursing school by one of my instructors. She even lent me the book, and I had it for almost a year, unable to read it because I was so obsessed with passing my nursing school classes and studying. I started reading it a few days ago and haven't put it down much, since.
With juicing being a way to take in nutrients without having to cook a crap ton of veggies, I decided that I would take the plunge one more time, and see if I can't get a bit further down the path to health this time. I signed up for 5 sessions with a trainer at my gym (that's all I could afford at one time), bought some fruits and veg, stocked up on some vegan items, ordered a tofu press and a citrus juicer, and have been off to the races. Today is my 3rd day of a mostly vegan diet. I say mostly because dairy is showing up in some of the pre-prepared things I had on hand, such as salad dressings in my pre-made salads, and the vegetarian chili I ate last night has milk in it. Other than that, though, no animal products. The cookies I eat are vegan, my bread and margarine is vegan, I am using hummus in place of mayo until I can get or make some vegan mayo. I got some vegan cheese that actually tastes good, and some deli slices too. I have been trying to snack less, and when I do snack, make healthier choices. And yes, though I have been eating vegan cookies, I've cut back considerably on my sugar intake. No chocolate, no donuts, muffins, pastries, or other junk foods. I have been drinking water almost exclusively. I had a lemonade with my vegan subway sandwich, night before last, I've had some coffee with coconut creamer, and that's pretty much it, the rest of my fluids have been water. Today, though, my juicer finally got christened. I made a small glass of carrot juice, just to see how easy/hard it is. It was wonderfully easy, and tasted delicious. I see much more juicing in my future. :)
I walked the day I signed up for a trainer, and I had my first workout yesterday, another one is scheduled for today. I am sore in so many places, but a good sore. My core is in bad shape. Lower abs and legs are super weak. I will have my work cut out for me. Starting weight, yesterday 2/22/15 was 248.2 lbs. I didn't get a copy of my measurements, my BMI is 37%. I feel very motivated to do this. I feel very energized by what I am doing. My sugar is already dropping. It went from 199 to 165, to 148 this morning. I have been trying to not eat anything past a certain hour at night, and to stretch my times out... I had slow cooker oatmeal for breakfast this morning around 0730, had the carrot juice about 2 hours ago (1020). and now I'm about to eat a salad for lunch (t's 1220 now). I will probably take a walk after that, and then read and relax till my workout this evening.
Not all of my blog posts will read like this, but I want to document as much as I can, and have it to read back and reflect on as I go. I also want to have a release for when things are rough, and I am struggling. I will end this blog with an affirmation. Actually, I think I will end all of my blog posts with an affirmation.
"I accept myself fully and completely, just as I am"
-Louise Hay
In my mid 20's, I started to fill out, finally. After I had my daughter, I was probably at my best and "ideal" weight.... for about 5 minutes! At least, that's how it felt. Because once the weight started sticking.... it never stopped. Combining that with the fact that we had moved cross country and my lifestyle wasn't nearly as active as it had been, I went from skinny to "fat" in no time. I led a very sedentary life. I was prone to depression, I was in a new place, where the culture was very different. People are much more reserved in Seattle than they are back home, so I didn't really have any friends, just my partner. Even now, nearly 20 years on, I still only have a couple of people who I would call friends... lots of acquaintances, but no real friends to speak of. The weather is different here, too, so you have the perfect recipe for depression.
Regardless of the reasons, and I don't want to delve too deeply into that right now because it sounds like I'm having a massive pity party for one, I ended up in my current state of being. Overweight, hell who am I kidding, OBESE, diabetic, and very out of shape. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in September of 2013. I started having noticeable symptoms of the disease. I was tired all the time, had to pee a LOT! And was thirsty all the time. That last symptom was a tricky one for me to pin down, because I didn't FEEL thirsty, I just noticed I was drinking more fluids than I usually do. (I have traditionally been pretty bad about fluid intake, sadly).
I am only on oral antidiabetics at this point, and at first they really seemed to be helping. My sugar went down, and by down I mean by over 100 units.I felt better, more energetic, and definitely noticed an improvement. Then I guess I got cocky and careless. Either that, or the increase in my meds caused my appetite to increase. The intention of the doctor was for my sugar to go down to "normal' levels, when he increased my meds. That didn't happen. In fact, the levels started going up again, and all the weight I had lost (about 30 lbs) came back. I did start doing some things I probably shouldn't have, like drinking alcohol more often than I ever used to. I used to not drink at all, or very rarely, for a while, I was drinking a drink a day 3-4 times a week. I was eating dessert all the time, and just kind of stopped paying attention to what I was doing.
With my sugars creeping back towards the 200's and all of the weight back on my body, I decided to revisit a well traveled road...a vegan diet. I have taken this path a couple of times. I haven't gotten very far down this path in the past, I have lacked the skill, patience, energy, drive, committment, etc. to do it for very long. The longest I lasted was 3 months. And even in that attempt, I was not doing it right. I ate a lot of pb&j sandwiches and junk/processed foods. I started noticing signs of malnutrition, so I brought eggs and dairy back into the picture.
Since my diagnosis, I have been reading a lot of studies/articles/books that tout a vegan diet as a way to reverse diabetes, even my PMD was behind the idea when I mentioned it to him at my last checkup. I also have been watching lots of documentaries. "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead was one that stuck with me and introduced me to the idea of juicing. That, along with some of my co-workers and friends who had started juicing. After watching the movie the first time, I found a deal on a juicer on Groupon and ordered it, totally excited to start juicing. It arrived, Nick put it together, and...... it sat there, unused. I was intimidated by it, and not motivated to use it... and so it's been sitting there waiting for me to get off my ass and give it a go. While reading all of this info, collecting juice recipe's and buying books, I continued to do the wrong things, and let stress and fatigue rule the day.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw that "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead 2" was on Netflix, so I watched it. I was reminded of juicing, and had stirrings of wanting to do it again. I ordered "Reboot With Joe", Joe Cross's book about his journey. I also dug up a book that had been sitting unread on my Nook for many months, "Veganist, Eat Healthy, Lose Weight" by Kathy Freston. A book I was introduced to in nursing school by one of my instructors. She even lent me the book, and I had it for almost a year, unable to read it because I was so obsessed with passing my nursing school classes and studying. I started reading it a few days ago and haven't put it down much, since.
With juicing being a way to take in nutrients without having to cook a crap ton of veggies, I decided that I would take the plunge one more time, and see if I can't get a bit further down the path to health this time. I signed up for 5 sessions with a trainer at my gym (that's all I could afford at one time), bought some fruits and veg, stocked up on some vegan items, ordered a tofu press and a citrus juicer, and have been off to the races. Today is my 3rd day of a mostly vegan diet. I say mostly because dairy is showing up in some of the pre-prepared things I had on hand, such as salad dressings in my pre-made salads, and the vegetarian chili I ate last night has milk in it. Other than that, though, no animal products. The cookies I eat are vegan, my bread and margarine is vegan, I am using hummus in place of mayo until I can get or make some vegan mayo. I got some vegan cheese that actually tastes good, and some deli slices too. I have been trying to snack less, and when I do snack, make healthier choices. And yes, though I have been eating vegan cookies, I've cut back considerably on my sugar intake. No chocolate, no donuts, muffins, pastries, or other junk foods. I have been drinking water almost exclusively. I had a lemonade with my vegan subway sandwich, night before last, I've had some coffee with coconut creamer, and that's pretty much it, the rest of my fluids have been water. Today, though, my juicer finally got christened. I made a small glass of carrot juice, just to see how easy/hard it is. It was wonderfully easy, and tasted delicious. I see much more juicing in my future. :)
I walked the day I signed up for a trainer, and I had my first workout yesterday, another one is scheduled for today. I am sore in so many places, but a good sore. My core is in bad shape. Lower abs and legs are super weak. I will have my work cut out for me. Starting weight, yesterday 2/22/15 was 248.2 lbs. I didn't get a copy of my measurements, my BMI is 37%. I feel very motivated to do this. I feel very energized by what I am doing. My sugar is already dropping. It went from 199 to 165, to 148 this morning. I have been trying to not eat anything past a certain hour at night, and to stretch my times out... I had slow cooker oatmeal for breakfast this morning around 0730, had the carrot juice about 2 hours ago (1020). and now I'm about to eat a salad for lunch (t's 1220 now). I will probably take a walk after that, and then read and relax till my workout this evening.
Not all of my blog posts will read like this, but I want to document as much as I can, and have it to read back and reflect on as I go. I also want to have a release for when things are rough, and I am struggling. I will end this blog with an affirmation. Actually, I think I will end all of my blog posts with an affirmation.
"I accept myself fully and completely, just as I am"
-Louise Hay
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