I was shopping yesterday, in search of a nice business casual outfit, and came to an exciting realization. Size 18W pants were too damn big! This has happened before... so I didn't make too much of it at first. My tendency has been that when an 18 is too big, the 16 (the next size down) is still too tight. I had my partner find me a pair of 16's anyway, to try them on. When I did, I was ecstatic to realize that the button wasn't straining and about to snap off... the hooks were easy to clasp, and the zipper didn't bulge. THEY FIT!!!!!!! I have been in the 18-20 size hell for a few years now. I haven't been able to wear a 16 in a loooong time. Not only that, but they were almost loose! I may not stay at this size for long. I did a little happy dance, and bought the trousers, along with a nice dressy tank top and a black cardigan. I got some pretty killer looking shoes too, but they ended up cutting my foot. ;(
Things have been chugging along. I have continued to eat well. It was a little harder to do so on vacation, and there was some accidental non-veganism that happened. But overall, I did pretty well. We also had a very active holiday (or at least I did). While staying at the beach, I got up and took walks on the beach in the early mornings. The alone time was blissful, listening to the pounding surf, watching the wildlife. In addition to the usual seabirds, one morning I was graced with the sight of a pair of bald eagles hunting their breakfast. It was amazing. I didn't have my camera to capture the moment, but I will remember it forever, I think. My partner saw a bear, when we were driving, but I didn't look up in time to catch it. :( But on these walks, I racked up many steps and also did some short runs. I walked out as far as I felt I should, then turned and came back towards the hotel, and took off at a jog and would run until I didn't feel like I could continue. I was able to sustain a run for about 5 minutes. That seems to be my ceiling at the moment that I need to break through.
We also took some hikes, 2-3 miles each, and lots of elevation changes. I was climbing over and ducking under fallen trees at times, walking through overgrowth, and so on. I was doing things that I have up until recently lacked the strength to do. Saw some beautiful sights, and felt so calm and happy and at peace.
When I got home and weighed myself, I found that I had not gained any weight while gone, and had in fact, lost the pound or 2 that I had put on over a few days of careless eating. I am back under 240 now...just. My partner is going to clear out my workout space so I can get back to my Hip Hop Abs, and I have Focus T25 on order (Love me some Shaun T!!!) and I will be getting after that when it comes in a few days. I have been exercising or being active in some form or fashion at least 2-3 times a week since I started with the trainer. I am hoping to continue that streak.
I have other things going on in other areas of my life that I am not ready to put down for public consumption just yet. The stars seem to be aligning for me right now, though. Starting with just one positive change is leading to another, and another, and yet another. I am hoping the these good things continue to flow for a while. There is something else I am working very hard towards, and I feel like I am right on the edge of getting where I want to go, and doing what I need to do. Perhaps I'm turning a corner, or I'm at a crossroads, or some such thing. I will definitely have more to say about it as time progresses.
Overall, I'm feeling pretty damn good about things right now. I have been very upbeat, my anxiety is not super high, and I am loving life at the moment.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
Post of the week
After the last entry and workout, I had to retreat and lick my wounds.... for a week. My thighs were so sore, position changes (like sitting down/standing up, lying to sitting to standing, etc.) were torturous. I felt like an old lady. The muscles were sore to touch and I was super stiff. It was a tough week for me. Mentally I was still with it and raring to go, but my body and muscles weren't in agreement on that, so I rested and recovered. My weight loss stalled, and my self control in regards to sweets slipped a little.
Today, I had the day off from work, and for the first time it didn't hurt to move. So I suited up and went to the gym to work out. I took one of my workout cards with me and went after it. I did 45 minutes of cardio, then I did resistance training using the workout card as a guide. I ended up being there for nearly 2 hours. I am feeling a little sore from the workout now, but I didn't get to the point of complete exhaustion like I did last week. I am off again tomorrow, so I plan to go again and workout with another card. Today was mostly legs n shoulders, so i think tomorrow will be arms and abs and core work, and of course cardio.
Veganism is still in full effect. I am still gobsmacked by how easy it has been to transition. I made a yummy lunch today of a chickenless salad sandwich with mustard and vegenaise, cucumbers, tomatoes, and garden sprouts. Last night, the boy made me a delish dinner of chickenless strips, green beans and baked potato with butter, sour cream and cheese (all vegan). It was soooo tasty.
I continue to feel stronger and more confident. My brain is sharper, and I am getting more flexible.I I continue to see positive results from this life change, and that makes it easier to keep it up. While I am not perfect, I am so much more consistent than I have ever been, and my motivation has not flagged.
Monday, March 23, 2015
One Month Results
I had my final workout with my trainer this morning, and after nearly killing me with a super intense workout, we did my measurements. They are as follows:
Feb 22, 2015 March 23, 2015
Weight: 248 lbs Weight: 241.6 lbs.
Body Fat: 37% Body Fat: 35%
Chest: 46.5 inches Chest: 46.5 inches
Right Bicep: 14.75 inches Right Bicep: 14.50 inches
Waist: 44 inches Waist: 42.75 inches
Hips: 50 inches Hips: 47 inches
Upper thigh: 28.25 inches Upper thigh: 27 inches
So, to sum that up, I have lost nearly 7 lbs, 2% of body fat, my arm is slightly smaller, but the big difference is in my hips and waist area. I have lost 1.25 inches in my waist, and 2.5 inches in my hips, and my thighs have lost about 1.25 inches. Overall total of 5.5 inches gone. :)
This is so exciting to me!!!! It is a pretty big difference in just a month, and in that month, all I did was change up my eating and exercise more. I didn't do the exercises that my trainer wrote down for me particularly consistently, but I did try to do cardio at least a couple to 3 times a week, and I did do some of her exercises a few times. Just seeing these results makes me want to go balls out now and see just how much of a difference it will make. How much faster will the weight and the fat come off? I am excited to find out, for sure!
I needed to see these differences, I needed to see these results, especially since I felt kind of like I was half assing it. But to be fair, me half assing it now is better than the inactivity that was before this. I have seen growth and stamina, improvement in my physical fitness in just this month. The workout that she put me through today was one that there is no way in hell I could have done before. There were points where my breath came in gasps, my heart was racing, and I even felt like if I went much longer I might hurl, but I did it. I hung in there, and only came in 3 shy of the 15 reps she wanted me to do of each exercise. My legs are rubbery still. I will definitely be sore tomorrow, but it was sooooo worth it! I am just a couple of pounds away from being the lightest I've been in a long time. 2 pounds away from being out of the 240's... and I plan to be out of the 240's for good! I am heading on a long journey to One-derland!
Feb 22, 2015 March 23, 2015
Weight: 248 lbs Weight: 241.6 lbs.
Body Fat: 37% Body Fat: 35%
Chest: 46.5 inches Chest: 46.5 inches
Right Bicep: 14.75 inches Right Bicep: 14.50 inches
Waist: 44 inches Waist: 42.75 inches
Hips: 50 inches Hips: 47 inches
Upper thigh: 28.25 inches Upper thigh: 27 inches
So, to sum that up, I have lost nearly 7 lbs, 2% of body fat, my arm is slightly smaller, but the big difference is in my hips and waist area. I have lost 1.25 inches in my waist, and 2.5 inches in my hips, and my thighs have lost about 1.25 inches. Overall total of 5.5 inches gone. :)
This is so exciting to me!!!! It is a pretty big difference in just a month, and in that month, all I did was change up my eating and exercise more. I didn't do the exercises that my trainer wrote down for me particularly consistently, but I did try to do cardio at least a couple to 3 times a week, and I did do some of her exercises a few times. Just seeing these results makes me want to go balls out now and see just how much of a difference it will make. How much faster will the weight and the fat come off? I am excited to find out, for sure!
I needed to see these differences, I needed to see these results, especially since I felt kind of like I was half assing it. But to be fair, me half assing it now is better than the inactivity that was before this. I have seen growth and stamina, improvement in my physical fitness in just this month. The workout that she put me through today was one that there is no way in hell I could have done before. There were points where my breath came in gasps, my heart was racing, and I even felt like if I went much longer I might hurl, but I did it. I hung in there, and only came in 3 shy of the 15 reps she wanted me to do of each exercise. My legs are rubbery still. I will definitely be sore tomorrow, but it was sooooo worth it! I am just a couple of pounds away from being the lightest I've been in a long time. 2 pounds away from being out of the 240's... and I plan to be out of the 240's for good! I am heading on a long journey to One-derland!
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Not Quite a Month Later
It has been nearly a month since I started this new blog and new lifestyle. It has not been easy, but it has also not been as hard as I thought it would be when I started. There have been a few times where I have slipped up and eaten non vegan foods. I am still learning how to eat vegan at restaurants, and I'm finding that at some places it's just NOT possible. I guess I won't be eating at those places anymore. In terms of finding alternatives and substitutions, it has been so much easier. I continue to find inspiration and learn new things every day. I also am not missing the eggs and dairy as much as I thought I would. I have found some delish cheese substitutes and I've gotten accustomed to almond milk flavor and it works just fine in cereals, and to cook with it's perfectly fine too. I don't even miss milk as much as I thought I would. Sometimes I have a fleeting jones for it, but for the most part, not really missing it that much.
I have become much better about drinking water, I consume more water than I used to for sure, although I still sometimes don't drink enough. I drink coffee in the morning, sometimes have a cocktail with dinner, but honestly, other than that I just drink water now. I have slacked a bit with my juicing and smoothies, but I am going to get back on that. I had oatmeal for breakfast (steel cut oats cooked in the rice cooker with dried fruit, bananas, and peanut butter has become a breakfast staple) and I plan to make a smoothie for lunch.
MyFitnessPal has become my best friend, not just for tracking calories, but also for tracking nutrients. I try to get as close as I can to my nutrient goals for my weight, but it's really hard to get all of them in without going overbudget on calories. I guess in that way, it's encouragement to keep up my exercise regimen. That, I think, is the hardest thing to keep up with. I work on my feet all day, get a lot of steps in, and when I get home from work, I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. Some days I can drag my butt onto my treadmill or to the gym, but many days I don't make it. I don't want to say I can't, because I can... I'm physically able to do it, I just feel overwhelmed and tired a lot of days and don't. I have been able to make it at least a couple of days a week most weeks, though, and that's an improvement over never, so I'll still say I'm better about exercise than I used to be. I am continuing to work on it. The energy level is definitely higher than it used to be. At this point it's a mental game. I'll get it figured out.
I continue to be nearly allergy free. I had to take a claritin this morning, but I ate dairy last night, so I'm sure that was at least a partial cause for my itchy throat and congestion this morning. I am able to buckle my belt a notch farther back than I used to. So even though I have still not hit a 10 pound loss quite yet, I have lost some fat. I see my trainer tomorrow and we will get measurements so I'll see what, if any difference my lifestyle changes have made. I have noticed bursts of energy that I never used to have. I had to pee really bad last night after being out, when we got home, I ran down the hall to my bathroom and my 15 year old daughter remarked that she hasn't seen me run like that. I had a little burst of running earlier too, running to get my iPod so I could have some music time and pre-order some music. MUSE!!!!!!!!!! :)
I went wandering around Sports Authority and saw a lot of stuff that I want. I need to make a wishlist for the stuff I wanna get. I want to get a stand up paddleboard for use in the summer. I want to get a heavy bag and some boxing gloves, maybe a speed bag too. I think being able to hit something will be a great stress release, since I work in such a stressful field. I want some hiking boots/shoes for summer hikes, and of course I want some good workout gear (Under Armour) for outdoor runs/hikes/walks in all types of weather. I am shooting for a beach weekend or beach couple of days during spring break vacation so I can try a beach run. I want to learn to surf, too this summer. I want to look good in a swimsuit, both one piece and bikini type. Goals. :) I want to go home for an Austin visit where I stay in the city and do city things, run/bike on the hike n bike trail, Do Hill Country hikes, swim, etc.
Sounds like I basically want to change my life, huh? :p I'm working on it.
I have become much better about drinking water, I consume more water than I used to for sure, although I still sometimes don't drink enough. I drink coffee in the morning, sometimes have a cocktail with dinner, but honestly, other than that I just drink water now. I have slacked a bit with my juicing and smoothies, but I am going to get back on that. I had oatmeal for breakfast (steel cut oats cooked in the rice cooker with dried fruit, bananas, and peanut butter has become a breakfast staple) and I plan to make a smoothie for lunch.
MyFitnessPal has become my best friend, not just for tracking calories, but also for tracking nutrients. I try to get as close as I can to my nutrient goals for my weight, but it's really hard to get all of them in without going overbudget on calories. I guess in that way, it's encouragement to keep up my exercise regimen. That, I think, is the hardest thing to keep up with. I work on my feet all day, get a lot of steps in, and when I get home from work, I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. Some days I can drag my butt onto my treadmill or to the gym, but many days I don't make it. I don't want to say I can't, because I can... I'm physically able to do it, I just feel overwhelmed and tired a lot of days and don't. I have been able to make it at least a couple of days a week most weeks, though, and that's an improvement over never, so I'll still say I'm better about exercise than I used to be. I am continuing to work on it. The energy level is definitely higher than it used to be. At this point it's a mental game. I'll get it figured out.
I continue to be nearly allergy free. I had to take a claritin this morning, but I ate dairy last night, so I'm sure that was at least a partial cause for my itchy throat and congestion this morning. I am able to buckle my belt a notch farther back than I used to. So even though I have still not hit a 10 pound loss quite yet, I have lost some fat. I see my trainer tomorrow and we will get measurements so I'll see what, if any difference my lifestyle changes have made. I have noticed bursts of energy that I never used to have. I had to pee really bad last night after being out, when we got home, I ran down the hall to my bathroom and my 15 year old daughter remarked that she hasn't seen me run like that. I had a little burst of running earlier too, running to get my iPod so I could have some music time and pre-order some music. MUSE!!!!!!!!!! :)
I went wandering around Sports Authority and saw a lot of stuff that I want. I need to make a wishlist for the stuff I wanna get. I want to get a stand up paddleboard for use in the summer. I want to get a heavy bag and some boxing gloves, maybe a speed bag too. I think being able to hit something will be a great stress release, since I work in such a stressful field. I want some hiking boots/shoes for summer hikes, and of course I want some good workout gear (Under Armour) for outdoor runs/hikes/walks in all types of weather. I am shooting for a beach weekend or beach couple of days during spring break vacation so I can try a beach run. I want to learn to surf, too this summer. I want to look good in a swimsuit, both one piece and bikini type. Goals. :) I want to go home for an Austin visit where I stay in the city and do city things, run/bike on the hike n bike trail, Do Hill Country hikes, swim, etc.
Sounds like I basically want to change my life, huh? :p I'm working on it.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Vegan Eating Out
Tonight we went out to eat. We hit up Red Robin and I had a Keep It Simple burger with a boca patty and a side of steamed broccoli. No condiments, just the bun, lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles on the burger. I was able to eat a pretty filling meal for under 500 calories. I drank water with lemon slices in, and no dessert for me. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. I am finding it easier to be vegan this time round. I'm not sure if there's just more products that taste better available, or if I am just more motivated, or maybe a bit of both. I am actually eating pretty healthy.
Having a juicer and a ninja blender has been a godsend. I have been drinking juices and smoothies, which is upping my veggie game and I'm getting so many more nutrients. My hair is softer, I have more energy, and am mentally clearer. I have been using the MyFitnessPal app to track my nutrition, and while I don't always stay on budget for calories, I am paying closer attention to specific nutrients, and so what I am eating is more nutrient dense. I have learned how to cook steel cut oats in the rice cooker, and quinoa too. They have also been a godsend. There is a recipe for rice/tofu/spinach that can be made in the rice cooker too, I pinned it on Pinterest and look forward to giving it a go.
Exercise continues to go pretty well. I am still struggling a bit with getting to the gym during the work week, Even with that, I have been able to work out at least a couple of days a week, and hit the treadmill at home. Tomorrow I definitely have to go in, I need to reschedule my training session, as I've been asked to work that day. I am continuing to work on it.
This weekend I want to acquire a gym bag, and soon I need a new pair of trainers. It's a tight pay period for me this time round, though, so the trainers will likely have to wait, unless I can find a good pair at Kohl's. I may go looking for them this weekend. I need to just toss my gym clothes into a bag and go straight there after work. Coming home is my downfall. I've only been able to get up and go a couple of times. Small steps... keep moving forward.
Having a juicer and a ninja blender has been a godsend. I have been drinking juices and smoothies, which is upping my veggie game and I'm getting so many more nutrients. My hair is softer, I have more energy, and am mentally clearer. I have been using the MyFitnessPal app to track my nutrition, and while I don't always stay on budget for calories, I am paying closer attention to specific nutrients, and so what I am eating is more nutrient dense. I have learned how to cook steel cut oats in the rice cooker, and quinoa too. They have also been a godsend. There is a recipe for rice/tofu/spinach that can be made in the rice cooker too, I pinned it on Pinterest and look forward to giving it a go.
Exercise continues to go pretty well. I am still struggling a bit with getting to the gym during the work week, Even with that, I have been able to work out at least a couple of days a week, and hit the treadmill at home. Tomorrow I definitely have to go in, I need to reschedule my training session, as I've been asked to work that day. I am continuing to work on it.
This weekend I want to acquire a gym bag, and soon I need a new pair of trainers. It's a tight pay period for me this time round, though, so the trainers will likely have to wait, unless I can find a good pair at Kohl's. I may go looking for them this weekend. I need to just toss my gym clothes into a bag and go straight there after work. Coming home is my downfall. I've only been able to get up and go a couple of times. Small steps... keep moving forward.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Keeping the momentum going.
I have had a few hiccups in my regimen, nothing major. I tweaked one of my abs during a training session, so I had to rest it for a few days. I didn't go to the gym outside of my session at all last week. I did do some work at home, however. I did treadmill workouts, 40 minutes of interval cardio. I attempted some ab work after a couple of days but it was still hurting, so I just stuck to cardio. I have continued my improved eating habits, and trying to increase my protein intake. I think between the rest and the improved nutrition, my abs were good to go today.
I have noticed some more results during todays workout. I was able to hold plank (on my elbows) for 10 seconds, whereas before I could barely make it to 5 seconds. I was able to lift my legs and keep them raised for "toe touches." I use quotes because I was nowhere near my toes, more like knee touches, all the same, I was able to lift my legs and keep them in the air long enough to do the reps and sets. I found squats a bit easier to manage, and my stamina was better. I still worked up a pretty serious sweat, but I wasn't dying at the end. My energy level continues to improve. My belly continues to shrink, and my attitude is much more upbeat.
I did have a brief flare of depression and frustration, but it was very temporary. Only really messed with me for a day. I am experiencing some work related frustration, and it has been kind of an ongoing thing, but the doctor said something to me that really struck a nerve. I know his intentions were good, and I know it wasn't meant as a dig, but it still kind of stung. I won't get into it into detail, there's no need to do so, but suffice it to say, I am still trying really hard to break into acute care.
I ran into another snag for a couple of days, when I adjusted my activity level from lightly active to active. It increased my calorie allowance, and I was less hungry through the day, but I gained weight, so I guess I'm not quite there yet. I put it back to lightly active and have been trying to stay within the calorie goals, and I am losing again. So far, I've only really lost 2 pounds, and I've been at this for a couple weeks now, but I'm working on it. My belly is visibly smaller, and I am not having the knee pain that usually comes with climbing stairs and such. I am feeling pretty good about things today. I am kinda bummed that I only have one training session left. I want to buy more, but I have to pay off the ones I have bought first. :(
I am going back to the gym later with the kiddo because she wants to work out too. I saved my cardio for later.
I have noticed some more results during todays workout. I was able to hold plank (on my elbows) for 10 seconds, whereas before I could barely make it to 5 seconds. I was able to lift my legs and keep them raised for "toe touches." I use quotes because I was nowhere near my toes, more like knee touches, all the same, I was able to lift my legs and keep them in the air long enough to do the reps and sets. I found squats a bit easier to manage, and my stamina was better. I still worked up a pretty serious sweat, but I wasn't dying at the end. My energy level continues to improve. My belly continues to shrink, and my attitude is much more upbeat.
I did have a brief flare of depression and frustration, but it was very temporary. Only really messed with me for a day. I am experiencing some work related frustration, and it has been kind of an ongoing thing, but the doctor said something to me that really struck a nerve. I know his intentions were good, and I know it wasn't meant as a dig, but it still kind of stung. I won't get into it into detail, there's no need to do so, but suffice it to say, I am still trying really hard to break into acute care.
I ran into another snag for a couple of days, when I adjusted my activity level from lightly active to active. It increased my calorie allowance, and I was less hungry through the day, but I gained weight, so I guess I'm not quite there yet. I put it back to lightly active and have been trying to stay within the calorie goals, and I am losing again. So far, I've only really lost 2 pounds, and I've been at this for a couple weeks now, but I'm working on it. My belly is visibly smaller, and I am not having the knee pain that usually comes with climbing stairs and such. I am feeling pretty good about things today. I am kinda bummed that I only have one training session left. I want to buy more, but I have to pay off the ones I have bought first. :(
I am going back to the gym later with the kiddo because she wants to work out too. I saved my cardio for later.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Progress so far
It is March 2, 2015. Today's weight is 246 lbs. I have continued on a mostly vegan diet. I have had a couple of incidental instances of milk showing up in some foods, but very small amounts, and they will be phased out as I go. I am drinking water almost exclusively now. I have not had soda in almost a week. I have not had a glass of milk in about that same amount of time. The only non water beverages I've had have been iced tea, and a vitamin water lemonade. I have increased my vegetable intake, and to an extent, my fruit intake as well (lots of apples and some bananas). I have been juicing and I just bought a new blender, A Ninja for making green smoothies. Yesterday I went shopping and loaded up on veggies and some fruits, as well as dried beans, tortillas and other odds and ends for making lunches and dinners that are healthy and vegan. I am finding it so much easier to be a vegan now than it was other times I tried. Adding juicing and smoothies to the mix, I think my nutrition status will improve dramatically.
My hair feels softer, my vision feels sharper and clearer, and I feel more energetic than I have in a long time. I am sleeping better, but there is still more room for improvement... I am working on getting us a nice new bed. That is a goal, to have a new bed by the end of this month. We tried out a nice Tempurpedic adjustable bed with massager and it was heaven! I have lost 2 pounds since starting with the personal trainer, and overall, I have lost 6 lbs. since I got my wake up call that I'd put the weight back on and the sugars were going back up. Which reminds me, my sugar is going down. It was 141 this morning (I think? I'll have to double check that... I know it was in the 140's for sure though), and it had been in the 180's-190's for several days prior to my wake up call.
I am still struggling a bit with juggling work and exercise. I have not managed to get to the gym on a work day yet. This week I will work on that. I have a training session today. I'll be interested in how that goes, as she has told me she wants to do core work today and my core is in baaaaaad shape. :p
Other things I've noticed. I am not congested. For a while I was taking Claritin every day, and even then, still would get congested or have allergy flare ups. Since cutting out dairy, I haven't taken an allergy pill in several days. My nasal passages are clearer and I don't have to lay on my back to clear my sinuses like I have usually needed to do. I have not been depressed, in fact I am feeling upbeat and optimistic. I still struggle with anxiety, but I am noticing a markedly lower level of anxiety now. I feel like I am functioning better at work, too. Able to make better assessments, and to complete more tasks, and juggle my workload more easily than I have in the past. All in all, a very positive experience, and motivation to keep going.
Today is about workout, errands, and meal prep. Also a bit of tidying up if I can fit it in.
My hair feels softer, my vision feels sharper and clearer, and I feel more energetic than I have in a long time. I am sleeping better, but there is still more room for improvement... I am working on getting us a nice new bed. That is a goal, to have a new bed by the end of this month. We tried out a nice Tempurpedic adjustable bed with massager and it was heaven! I have lost 2 pounds since starting with the personal trainer, and overall, I have lost 6 lbs. since I got my wake up call that I'd put the weight back on and the sugars were going back up. Which reminds me, my sugar is going down. It was 141 this morning (I think? I'll have to double check that... I know it was in the 140's for sure though), and it had been in the 180's-190's for several days prior to my wake up call.
I am still struggling a bit with juggling work and exercise. I have not managed to get to the gym on a work day yet. This week I will work on that. I have a training session today. I'll be interested in how that goes, as she has told me she wants to do core work today and my core is in baaaaaad shape. :p
Other things I've noticed. I am not congested. For a while I was taking Claritin every day, and even then, still would get congested or have allergy flare ups. Since cutting out dairy, I haven't taken an allergy pill in several days. My nasal passages are clearer and I don't have to lay on my back to clear my sinuses like I have usually needed to do. I have not been depressed, in fact I am feeling upbeat and optimistic. I still struggle with anxiety, but I am noticing a markedly lower level of anxiety now. I feel like I am functioning better at work, too. Able to make better assessments, and to complete more tasks, and juggle my workload more easily than I have in the past. All in all, a very positive experience, and motivation to keep going.
Today is about workout, errands, and meal prep. Also a bit of tidying up if I can fit it in.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Sweat, pain, and temptation...
Today I did something I don't think I've ever done. I spent 2 hours at the gym. Yes, let that sink in. 2.hours.at.the.gym. I did an hour on the treadmill, though I was only asked to do 40 minutes of cardio, I did a full hour because I took yesterday off instead of today, as my trainer had originally planned it. Then I did a circuit of resistance exercises that my trainer assigned me. This circuit consisted of small crunches, (3 sets of 15 reps), leg lifts with a stability ball (3 sets of 6 reps), plank position (modified with me on my elbows) 4 times for 5-6 seconds each time, ball slams with a 12 pound medicine ball (3 sets of 10 reps), and finishing up with box squats (3 sets of 12 reps).
The cardio was mostly walking, varying speeds and inclines. I wanted to test my endurance and jogging/running ability, so towards the end, I jogged at a 4.5 mph pace and was able to maintain it for 2 minutes straight the first time. I adjusted the speed back down to a fast walk to keep my heart rate in target range and to catch my breath, then tried it again and was able to stretch it for 3 minutes at that speed (flat incline for the jogs both times). So I ran for a total of 5 minutes. Not great shakes, but for me to be able to run for 3 minutes continuously, that is an achievement for me. It's kind of a big deal. I think I will do C25K as my cardio training and do the exercises the trainer gave me for resistance/strenght trining. This way I can kill 2 birds with one stone. My trainer was there working, and she popped over to see how I was doing. She seemed pleased with my workout. I left there a red faced, sweaty mess.
Having finished the workout, I'm feeling pretty good. It kicked my butt, and I feel like I really did something. The challenge is still to come though. I've lucked into a long weekend. I was put on standby yesterday, and was on call today but not needed, so I've been off for 4 days. It's back to work tomorrow. Will I have the energy to go to the gym after work? That is the question. I guess I will find out tomorrow. I will direct all of my positive energy and drive towards going and getting it done. It has to happen. Change has to start with me, and it has to be now.
Eating and being vegan is going ok too. I have been able to stick to a mostly vegan diet (as I said in the previous entry some animal products have shown up a few times in pre-prepared foods, but for the most part, I've been able to stay true to a vegan diet. I finally made some juices. I made a bit of carrot juice, and a green juice of kale/spinach/cucumber/green apple. They were tasty and they were nutritious. Today I got a Jamba Juice Amazing greens smoothie. I need to make up a shopping list to get me through the week, as I am starting to run through my current stock. I have no salads left, My fruits are dwindling. I need to start looking at making some foods and storing them to heat and eat. I want to keep up with the good eating I've been doing. I want to follow a proper vegan diet, balanced and all. Eating is a fine balance though. I want to keep eating enough to lose weight... I don't want to eat too much and cancel out the calories I've burned, and right now I am craving a savory filling meal. I will try some peanut butter on toast and an apple and see if that fills me up. The eating is going to be the tricky part. I know that the more active I become, the more calories I will need, but figuring out how much to eat, when to eat, and when it's appropriate, that will be my struggle, along with the usual struggles of motivation and energy. I would love a big ol' plate of mashed potatoes right about now. :p
Ok, now to munch of some peanut butter toast and watch The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, and relax.
The cardio was mostly walking, varying speeds and inclines. I wanted to test my endurance and jogging/running ability, so towards the end, I jogged at a 4.5 mph pace and was able to maintain it for 2 minutes straight the first time. I adjusted the speed back down to a fast walk to keep my heart rate in target range and to catch my breath, then tried it again and was able to stretch it for 3 minutes at that speed (flat incline for the jogs both times). So I ran for a total of 5 minutes. Not great shakes, but for me to be able to run for 3 minutes continuously, that is an achievement for me. It's kind of a big deal. I think I will do C25K as my cardio training and do the exercises the trainer gave me for resistance/strenght trining. This way I can kill 2 birds with one stone. My trainer was there working, and she popped over to see how I was doing. She seemed pleased with my workout. I left there a red faced, sweaty mess.
Having finished the workout, I'm feeling pretty good. It kicked my butt, and I feel like I really did something. The challenge is still to come though. I've lucked into a long weekend. I was put on standby yesterday, and was on call today but not needed, so I've been off for 4 days. It's back to work tomorrow. Will I have the energy to go to the gym after work? That is the question. I guess I will find out tomorrow. I will direct all of my positive energy and drive towards going and getting it done. It has to happen. Change has to start with me, and it has to be now.
Eating and being vegan is going ok too. I have been able to stick to a mostly vegan diet (as I said in the previous entry some animal products have shown up a few times in pre-prepared foods, but for the most part, I've been able to stay true to a vegan diet. I finally made some juices. I made a bit of carrot juice, and a green juice of kale/spinach/cucumber/green apple. They were tasty and they were nutritious. Today I got a Jamba Juice Amazing greens smoothie. I need to make up a shopping list to get me through the week, as I am starting to run through my current stock. I have no salads left, My fruits are dwindling. I need to start looking at making some foods and storing them to heat and eat. I want to keep up with the good eating I've been doing. I want to follow a proper vegan diet, balanced and all. Eating is a fine balance though. I want to keep eating enough to lose weight... I don't want to eat too much and cancel out the calories I've burned, and right now I am craving a savory filling meal. I will try some peanut butter on toast and an apple and see if that fills me up. The eating is going to be the tricky part. I know that the more active I become, the more calories I will need, but figuring out how much to eat, when to eat, and when it's appropriate, that will be my struggle, along with the usual struggles of motivation and energy. I would love a big ol' plate of mashed potatoes right about now. :p
Ok, now to munch of some peanut butter toast and watch The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, and relax.
Post Workout Selfie
This is what an hour of cardio and about 45 mins of resistance training looks like, minus the dripping sweat.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Another New Beginning
I am retiring my old blog and starting fresh. I have been struggling with my weight for my entire life, in one form or another. Growing up I was super skinny. I hit my full adult height at the age of 13 (that height is 5'11, by the way) and it took the rest of my body a LOOOOONG time to catch up. I was so thin that I looked sick. I was teased mercilessly and grilled about my eating habits. "Do you eat?" is one of my personal favorites. Obviously I do eat, since I am standing here, breathing and functioning and being annoyed and shamed by your questions and comments :p I did (and still do) eat... in fact I had a very healthy appetite. But no matter what, or how much, I ate.... I couldn't gain an ounce.
In my mid 20's, I started to fill out, finally. After I had my daughter, I was probably at my best and "ideal" weight.... for about 5 minutes! At least, that's how it felt. Because once the weight started sticking.... it never stopped. Combining that with the fact that we had moved cross country and my lifestyle wasn't nearly as active as it had been, I went from skinny to "fat" in no time. I led a very sedentary life. I was prone to depression, I was in a new place, where the culture was very different. People are much more reserved in Seattle than they are back home, so I didn't really have any friends, just my partner. Even now, nearly 20 years on, I still only have a couple of people who I would call friends... lots of acquaintances, but no real friends to speak of. The weather is different here, too, so you have the perfect recipe for depression.
Regardless of the reasons, and I don't want to delve too deeply into that right now because it sounds like I'm having a massive pity party for one, I ended up in my current state of being. Overweight, hell who am I kidding, OBESE, diabetic, and very out of shape. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in September of 2013. I started having noticeable symptoms of the disease. I was tired all the time, had to pee a LOT! And was thirsty all the time. That last symptom was a tricky one for me to pin down, because I didn't FEEL thirsty, I just noticed I was drinking more fluids than I usually do. (I have traditionally been pretty bad about fluid intake, sadly).
I am only on oral antidiabetics at this point, and at first they really seemed to be helping. My sugar went down, and by down I mean by over 100 units.I felt better, more energetic, and definitely noticed an improvement. Then I guess I got cocky and careless. Either that, or the increase in my meds caused my appetite to increase. The intention of the doctor was for my sugar to go down to "normal' levels, when he increased my meds. That didn't happen. In fact, the levels started going up again, and all the weight I had lost (about 30 lbs) came back. I did start doing some things I probably shouldn't have, like drinking alcohol more often than I ever used to. I used to not drink at all, or very rarely, for a while, I was drinking a drink a day 3-4 times a week. I was eating dessert all the time, and just kind of stopped paying attention to what I was doing.
With my sugars creeping back towards the 200's and all of the weight back on my body, I decided to revisit a well traveled road...a vegan diet. I have taken this path a couple of times. I haven't gotten very far down this path in the past, I have lacked the skill, patience, energy, drive, committment, etc. to do it for very long. The longest I lasted was 3 months. And even in that attempt, I was not doing it right. I ate a lot of pb&j sandwiches and junk/processed foods. I started noticing signs of malnutrition, so I brought eggs and dairy back into the picture.
Since my diagnosis, I have been reading a lot of studies/articles/books that tout a vegan diet as a way to reverse diabetes, even my PMD was behind the idea when I mentioned it to him at my last checkup. I also have been watching lots of documentaries. "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead was one that stuck with me and introduced me to the idea of juicing. That, along with some of my co-workers and friends who had started juicing. After watching the movie the first time, I found a deal on a juicer on Groupon and ordered it, totally excited to start juicing. It arrived, Nick put it together, and...... it sat there, unused. I was intimidated by it, and not motivated to use it... and so it's been sitting there waiting for me to get off my ass and give it a go. While reading all of this info, collecting juice recipe's and buying books, I continued to do the wrong things, and let stress and fatigue rule the day.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw that "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead 2" was on Netflix, so I watched it. I was reminded of juicing, and had stirrings of wanting to do it again. I ordered "Reboot With Joe", Joe Cross's book about his journey. I also dug up a book that had been sitting unread on my Nook for many months, "Veganist, Eat Healthy, Lose Weight" by Kathy Freston. A book I was introduced to in nursing school by one of my instructors. She even lent me the book, and I had it for almost a year, unable to read it because I was so obsessed with passing my nursing school classes and studying. I started reading it a few days ago and haven't put it down much, since.
With juicing being a way to take in nutrients without having to cook a crap ton of veggies, I decided that I would take the plunge one more time, and see if I can't get a bit further down the path to health this time. I signed up for 5 sessions with a trainer at my gym (that's all I could afford at one time), bought some fruits and veg, stocked up on some vegan items, ordered a tofu press and a citrus juicer, and have been off to the races. Today is my 3rd day of a mostly vegan diet. I say mostly because dairy is showing up in some of the pre-prepared things I had on hand, such as salad dressings in my pre-made salads, and the vegetarian chili I ate last night has milk in it. Other than that, though, no animal products. The cookies I eat are vegan, my bread and margarine is vegan, I am using hummus in place of mayo until I can get or make some vegan mayo. I got some vegan cheese that actually tastes good, and some deli slices too. I have been trying to snack less, and when I do snack, make healthier choices. And yes, though I have been eating vegan cookies, I've cut back considerably on my sugar intake. No chocolate, no donuts, muffins, pastries, or other junk foods. I have been drinking water almost exclusively. I had a lemonade with my vegan subway sandwich, night before last, I've had some coffee with coconut creamer, and that's pretty much it, the rest of my fluids have been water. Today, though, my juicer finally got christened. I made a small glass of carrot juice, just to see how easy/hard it is. It was wonderfully easy, and tasted delicious. I see much more juicing in my future. :)
I walked the day I signed up for a trainer, and I had my first workout yesterday, another one is scheduled for today. I am sore in so many places, but a good sore. My core is in bad shape. Lower abs and legs are super weak. I will have my work cut out for me. Starting weight, yesterday 2/22/15 was 248.2 lbs. I didn't get a copy of my measurements, my BMI is 37%. I feel very motivated to do this. I feel very energized by what I am doing. My sugar is already dropping. It went from 199 to 165, to 148 this morning. I have been trying to not eat anything past a certain hour at night, and to stretch my times out... I had slow cooker oatmeal for breakfast this morning around 0730, had the carrot juice about 2 hours ago (1020). and now I'm about to eat a salad for lunch (t's 1220 now). I will probably take a walk after that, and then read and relax till my workout this evening.
Not all of my blog posts will read like this, but I want to document as much as I can, and have it to read back and reflect on as I go. I also want to have a release for when things are rough, and I am struggling. I will end this blog with an affirmation. Actually, I think I will end all of my blog posts with an affirmation.
"I accept myself fully and completely, just as I am"
-Louise Hay
In my mid 20's, I started to fill out, finally. After I had my daughter, I was probably at my best and "ideal" weight.... for about 5 minutes! At least, that's how it felt. Because once the weight started sticking.... it never stopped. Combining that with the fact that we had moved cross country and my lifestyle wasn't nearly as active as it had been, I went from skinny to "fat" in no time. I led a very sedentary life. I was prone to depression, I was in a new place, where the culture was very different. People are much more reserved in Seattle than they are back home, so I didn't really have any friends, just my partner. Even now, nearly 20 years on, I still only have a couple of people who I would call friends... lots of acquaintances, but no real friends to speak of. The weather is different here, too, so you have the perfect recipe for depression.
Regardless of the reasons, and I don't want to delve too deeply into that right now because it sounds like I'm having a massive pity party for one, I ended up in my current state of being. Overweight, hell who am I kidding, OBESE, diabetic, and very out of shape. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in September of 2013. I started having noticeable symptoms of the disease. I was tired all the time, had to pee a LOT! And was thirsty all the time. That last symptom was a tricky one for me to pin down, because I didn't FEEL thirsty, I just noticed I was drinking more fluids than I usually do. (I have traditionally been pretty bad about fluid intake, sadly).
I am only on oral antidiabetics at this point, and at first they really seemed to be helping. My sugar went down, and by down I mean by over 100 units.I felt better, more energetic, and definitely noticed an improvement. Then I guess I got cocky and careless. Either that, or the increase in my meds caused my appetite to increase. The intention of the doctor was for my sugar to go down to "normal' levels, when he increased my meds. That didn't happen. In fact, the levels started going up again, and all the weight I had lost (about 30 lbs) came back. I did start doing some things I probably shouldn't have, like drinking alcohol more often than I ever used to. I used to not drink at all, or very rarely, for a while, I was drinking a drink a day 3-4 times a week. I was eating dessert all the time, and just kind of stopped paying attention to what I was doing.
With my sugars creeping back towards the 200's and all of the weight back on my body, I decided to revisit a well traveled road...a vegan diet. I have taken this path a couple of times. I haven't gotten very far down this path in the past, I have lacked the skill, patience, energy, drive, committment, etc. to do it for very long. The longest I lasted was 3 months. And even in that attempt, I was not doing it right. I ate a lot of pb&j sandwiches and junk/processed foods. I started noticing signs of malnutrition, so I brought eggs and dairy back into the picture.
Since my diagnosis, I have been reading a lot of studies/articles/books that tout a vegan diet as a way to reverse diabetes, even my PMD was behind the idea when I mentioned it to him at my last checkup. I also have been watching lots of documentaries. "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead was one that stuck with me and introduced me to the idea of juicing. That, along with some of my co-workers and friends who had started juicing. After watching the movie the first time, I found a deal on a juicer on Groupon and ordered it, totally excited to start juicing. It arrived, Nick put it together, and...... it sat there, unused. I was intimidated by it, and not motivated to use it... and so it's been sitting there waiting for me to get off my ass and give it a go. While reading all of this info, collecting juice recipe's and buying books, I continued to do the wrong things, and let stress and fatigue rule the day.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw that "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead 2" was on Netflix, so I watched it. I was reminded of juicing, and had stirrings of wanting to do it again. I ordered "Reboot With Joe", Joe Cross's book about his journey. I also dug up a book that had been sitting unread on my Nook for many months, "Veganist, Eat Healthy, Lose Weight" by Kathy Freston. A book I was introduced to in nursing school by one of my instructors. She even lent me the book, and I had it for almost a year, unable to read it because I was so obsessed with passing my nursing school classes and studying. I started reading it a few days ago and haven't put it down much, since.
With juicing being a way to take in nutrients without having to cook a crap ton of veggies, I decided that I would take the plunge one more time, and see if I can't get a bit further down the path to health this time. I signed up for 5 sessions with a trainer at my gym (that's all I could afford at one time), bought some fruits and veg, stocked up on some vegan items, ordered a tofu press and a citrus juicer, and have been off to the races. Today is my 3rd day of a mostly vegan diet. I say mostly because dairy is showing up in some of the pre-prepared things I had on hand, such as salad dressings in my pre-made salads, and the vegetarian chili I ate last night has milk in it. Other than that, though, no animal products. The cookies I eat are vegan, my bread and margarine is vegan, I am using hummus in place of mayo until I can get or make some vegan mayo. I got some vegan cheese that actually tastes good, and some deli slices too. I have been trying to snack less, and when I do snack, make healthier choices. And yes, though I have been eating vegan cookies, I've cut back considerably on my sugar intake. No chocolate, no donuts, muffins, pastries, or other junk foods. I have been drinking water almost exclusively. I had a lemonade with my vegan subway sandwich, night before last, I've had some coffee with coconut creamer, and that's pretty much it, the rest of my fluids have been water. Today, though, my juicer finally got christened. I made a small glass of carrot juice, just to see how easy/hard it is. It was wonderfully easy, and tasted delicious. I see much more juicing in my future. :)
I walked the day I signed up for a trainer, and I had my first workout yesterday, another one is scheduled for today. I am sore in so many places, but a good sore. My core is in bad shape. Lower abs and legs are super weak. I will have my work cut out for me. Starting weight, yesterday 2/22/15 was 248.2 lbs. I didn't get a copy of my measurements, my BMI is 37%. I feel very motivated to do this. I feel very energized by what I am doing. My sugar is already dropping. It went from 199 to 165, to 148 this morning. I have been trying to not eat anything past a certain hour at night, and to stretch my times out... I had slow cooker oatmeal for breakfast this morning around 0730, had the carrot juice about 2 hours ago (1020). and now I'm about to eat a salad for lunch (t's 1220 now). I will probably take a walk after that, and then read and relax till my workout this evening.
Not all of my blog posts will read like this, but I want to document as much as I can, and have it to read back and reflect on as I go. I also want to have a release for when things are rough, and I am struggling. I will end this blog with an affirmation. Actually, I think I will end all of my blog posts with an affirmation.
"I accept myself fully and completely, just as I am"
-Louise Hay
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